Tag Archives: black adder

Four easy things you can do to help Sgt. 1st Class Walter Taylor. Also boobs and beer.

This update is all about four easy things you can do to help Sgt. 1st Class Walter Taylor because here at www.hadafewbeers.com we’re all about the charity. And beer. And boobs.

For anyone that needs a recap about Taylor’s situation here’s the link, because finding new ways to describe the same situation, over and over again, ain’t fun and we like fun here …

So let’s hit it with some easy stuff you can do to help raise money for Taylor’s defense.

1. Donate, duh.

You can go here. It literally takes three minutes. Click the donate now link, select the amount you want to give (for anything over $30 you get a free bumper sticker), add your personal information and bam, you’re a great American.

Seriously, you’re a great American if you do that. Look giving to charity IS a good thing I think we all agree but most charities have a marketing campaign and/or a marketing staff of professionals. Taylor has me, retarded blogger that makes sauna boner and boob jokes, and someone named Diane in Texas that I’ve never met. Hey Diane!

2. You can repost this AND I don’t mean just on Facebook (but totally repost

Hey FB friends, you should totally give money and read this dude’s blog. It’s about a wounded warrior AND boobs.

this on facebook and ask your friends to do that same!)

I doubt it will come as a shock to anyone that the internet consists of more than just Facebook and porn. An amazing four percent of internet content isn’t even related to Facebook or pornography; I know that fact because I just made it up.

Rick, yeah Army guys vs. Dinosaurs on Rick’s BMW hood, frequents a BMW forum. I know this because Rick once told me.

Rick: “Yeah I was on the BMW discussion form and one of the members, BMWBONER09, told us how you can totally reprogram your key to automatically deflate the tires dude.”

Me: “Rick you are so fucking weird.”

Actually that’s a pretty typical exchange between Rick and I, but I digress.

Point is if you frequent an online forum of any sort, mention Taylor’s plight there. Whether it’s the World of Warcraft’s “DROODS RULE DUDEZ” forum or the “Hello kitty super fun time forum” that you frequent, bring it up there … this is all about getting the word out.

Word of caution though I did it on two forums I frequent and got my shit handed to me by some of the more liberal, skeptical posters. I’m a big kid though and I can take it. And by ‘take it’ I mean I cried, literally, like a little girl.

Finally if you do this, post a comment here or send me an email (oliveritay@gmail.com) … I’ll lend a hand if I can.

3. Do something local

HAVE A BAKE SALE! Okay I’m totally fucking kidding on that one, don’t have a bake sale, unless you REALLY, REALY want to have a bake sale and in that case knock your socks off. What I mean by local though is ask a local organization to consider doing something to help Taylor. Ask your local VFW or American Legion if they would consider helping. I’m a member of bowling team, because I hate myself, and I’m going to ask the league for permission to solicit donations. I figure who feels more sympathetic toward wounded veterans facing stiff legal fees than bowlers? Shocked that didn’t come to me sooner!

What this blogs about boobs AND wants money for charity … this is the best idea since the romans put the christians and the lions in the same event. I also stole that, totally, from Black Adder.

4. Give us suggestions about how we can raise money

Look most of my blog entries here are about Dagmar outwitting me, beer, Dagmar outwitting me, boobs, Dagmar outwitting me and boobs. Also I like to talk about boobs, so there’s that.

Point is that there aren’t any cute photos of kittens and puppies that need loving home or videos of vicious 12-year-olds ‘attacking’ grandma ala Karen Klein (I just rolled my eyes) there’s just a brave soldier facing serious charges and a crapton of legal bills.

But if you have an idea about what I, or anyone else, could do to help raise cash lay it on me (oliveritaly@gmail.com). When I started blogging about this less than $2,000 had been raised and today, less than a week later, it’s up to almost $5,000. That’s because of you all! Awesome everyone, have a beer on me! While still short of the goal that’s $3,000 in less than seven days.

Post a comment here or send me an email, let me know what your idea is … Mine is a contest where the highest donation totally get a beer and sweet boobs picture.

Rush Limbaugh, the Catholic Church and Obama, laughing his ass off.

Why Rush apologized and why it wasn’t an apology

After calling her a slut, a whore and demanding that she, and other sexually active women, upload videos of themselves having sex so we all can watch, Rush Limbaugh apologized to Sandra Fluke yesterday. Only he didn’t apologize and it’s our fault for not getting the joke. If the rest of America just had the ultra right sense of humor we’d all be … well, we’d all be repealing the civil rights act, reversing Roe v. Wade and women would get back into the goddamn kitchen where they belong (or uploading homemade porn, so maybe a win here).

Damnit you trying being funny while flying on this shit!

Damnit you trying being funny while flying on this shit!

I need some help. I can’t find the humor in these statements; “Well, what would you call someone who wants us to pay for her to have sex? What would you call that woman? You’d call ’em a slut, a prostitute or whatever” and “If we’re going to have to pay for this, then we want something in return, Ms. Fluke,” Limbaugh said. “And that would be the videos of all this sex posted online so we can see what we’re getting for our money.” Can you find the humor in those statements? Look, I like David Letterman. I think Tosh.O is hysterical. I even like Black Adder, Arrested Development and that guy who works on the first floor of my office building, he cracks me up. If you can tell me where the joke is in Limbaugh’s statements leave a comment, I’d love to have some insight.

But what the hell is the point of calling a woman, who during her testimony before the Democratic Steering and Policy Committee , never once used the word sex, a whore? It is akin to me calling someone an alcoholic because they happen to be discussing grain. The closest she came to using the word sex is “women’s reproductive and sexual health care.”

That dirty, dirty whore.

When people criticize Rush Limbaugh by pointing out his girth, size and intellect (as Senator Al Franken did in his 1999 book Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot — a great read if ONLY to show that in the last 13 years dear Rush hasn’t changed a bit) they do it with things called facts. These facts are proven to be facts by citing things that experts on a given subject have said. If you can do it using humor as Senator Franken did, great. It’s also clearly a joke.

One last note, just an observation really: While the president, who I’d argue is a bit busier than Rush, took the time out to call Ms. Fluke to express his support, Rush couldn’t (yet) even be bothered to say he was sorry on his talk show, let alone on the phone. That’s right, he published the apology online. So come on Rush, was it just a “misunderstanding,” as you put it, and a bad joke? Let’s hear you get all hyped up and sweaty about it, the way you do when you’re talking to the party faithful, preferably during the third hour of your show, ’cause that’s generally when you’re all worked up and raving like a loon anyway.

Sure do hope those advertisers come back by the way.

Why the Catholic Church and the first amendment isn’t the same as Obama apologizing to Afghans*

I’m excited and baffled this discussion is even happening at all. I am thrilled as a Democrat, though, that it’s taking place among the GOP. Well, I guess it’d be a kind of boring discussion among the Democrats, something akin to “Hey this birth control thing, great or just good?”

But the government forcing religious organizations to do something is exactly what the First Amendment is there to prevent! You hear this all the time on Facebook, message boards, right-wing websites and well, everywhere.

I guess I could write – “who fucking cares”, “no it isn’t” or “This is fucking retarded” here and be done with it, but that wouldn’t quite be the point.

This is why I love Obama, he pisses off both the Afghans and the Catholics. I also think Mike Lavigne is facebook's greatest troll ... and I love him for it.

This is why I love Obama, he pisses off both the Afghans and the Catholics. I also think Mike Lavigne is Facebook’s greatest troll … and I love him for it.

I’m sure, certain in fact, that Catholic institutions be they schools, hospitals or (for all I know) pool cleaning services, do a lot of good for the people they reach out to. That’s nice Catholic Church, thanks. Now about those altar boys … I kid, I kid. I’m sure they help people they intend to help, provided you’re not an altar boy.

But while the Catholic Church runs those institutions, do you know who pays for them? If you guessed “tax dollars” you’re right! Well 62 percent right anyway. So while we’re having this fun and fancy discussion about First Amendment rights, Cardinal George has said, “What altar boys? We don’t have any altar boys and besides we’re going to close down our schools and health care institutions if you make us provide contraceptives.” OK, he didn’t say it like that exactly, but he did say they’d close up shop in two years.

This is the part where I say, “This is fucking retarded.” After providing them more than half their budget, the Catholic Church gives the giver (that would be us, you and me) the finger and cries that the First Amendment has been run afoul. The absolute minute that the Catholic Church starts funding these projects with 100 percent of their own funds, without a dime of taxpayer money, I’ll reverse my opinion.

I will still think the Catholic Church is a misogynistic organization that has a lot of crimes it needs to answer for and that desperately needs to modernize and face reality, but I’ll drop my objection to their issue with contraceptives.

Finally, to those of you who are so sure the mean Democrats are trampling the First Amendment there’s the little issue of the 26 other states that, all by themselves, already guarantee contraceptive coverage by insurance organizations, nine of which specifically address religious exemptions with clauses such as, “Go fuck yourselves, if we’re giving you money you’re gonna do it” and “Jesus the Catholic Leadership is fucking retarded.” I’m not a lawyer, but I hope that’s what the clauses say.

* I just realized I didn’t talk once about the Afghan situation and Obama’s apology for the Koran burning there. Look, one side of this is full of backward, misogynistic, religions freaks and the Afghans suck too.

Why this discussion is good for Obama and bad for the GOP

Anyone not remember how this whole discussion started? I do because I wrote about it here and I admit that when I first heard about it I thought, Wow the administration is doing what? That can’t be good idea.

Then I thought about it a bit, Googled and remembered everyone in the administration is likely a thousand times smarter than I am. And maybe, just maybe, they were hoping this discussion would make it into the mainstream media and maybe its the kind of discussion that will show the American people — specifically the American female voter — how backward the GOP’s extreme right really is.

Guess what happened?

This thing is SO entrenched as a GOP problem right now that I hope someone in the White House is having an ice cold beer and a good laugh right now.

Here’s the brilliance of it: Women tend to, by sizable majorities, vote Democrat. They haven’t, percentage wise, voted for a republican since 1988 and who can blame them. Even I thought Dukakis was kind of a dork. Now, what’s more likely to piss off woman voters in 2012, pushing through a bill that guarantees their reproductive rights be covered by insurance companies or a bunch of older men debating the very legality of contraceptives in the first place? If you raised your hand and said, “Um the second one,” you’d be right!

Look we got a black guy in here with us, doesn't that count for something?

Look we got a black guy in here with us, doesn’t that count for something?

Both Santorum and Romney, while SCARED AS SHIT OF PISSING OFF big daddy Rush, were quick to distance themselves from the language Rush used, but not so much his position. Neither candidate seems to disagree with Rush’s opinion of the situation, just his words.

Having a position that basically says “sex is bad” and that a normal healthy adult woman shouldn’t have sex without a husband and without the express purpose of having a baby because doing so will likely damn you to hell is not a good 2012 position. What do you all think that aspirin comment was about anyway? These kinds of positions aren’t going to win over the MAJORITY of Americans to your side of the fence. That’s right 50.8 percent of Americans are women. While I’m certain not every one of them believes that women and women alone should be able to make their own reproductive choices, I’d wager a large amount of money that most of them do.